But now, after twenty-nine years with diabetes, I believe this withdrawal is part of a natural cycle. To examine where I am at in relation to illness, to healing, to my path in this world. It is a time to remember.
Last week in the Emerge course, we were prompted to explore what it means to "stand in your own light." To do this through mindfulness meditation and self -portraiture.
I found that holding myself in light -my diabetic, poetry-loving, wild woman self- meant that like the Japanese Goddess Amaterasu catching a glimpse of Her own brightness in the mirror, I could find my way out of the cave of withdrawal. After twenty-nine years of diabetes, and nearly forty-two trips around the sun, I could see myself as beautiful and whole. Not broken or unfixable, not even incurable.
Dream of the sun dreaming its worlds,
sing till the song throws out root, trunk,
branches, birds, stars. Sing until the dream
engenders the spring at which you may drink
and recognize yourself and recover. (Ocatvio Paz)